( via bronawesome )

Fish are always eating other fish.  If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit.

( via zombiegumby )

I don’t understand.  

All these jokes have been preapproved as funny by me.

( via thatchristopher )

@vanessaragland : The batteries are dead in my electric toothbrush, so now it’s just a toothbrush. I am living the first draft of a Mitch Hedberg joke.

( via comedynerdsunited )