@vanessaragland : The batteries are dead in my electric toothbrush, so now it’s just a toothbrush. I am living the first draft of a Mitch Hedberg joke.
( via comedynerdsunited )
What happened to the Dufrenes?
( via gingerlovin )
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
( via trillvalley )
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banan, I said, ‘No, but I want a regular banan later, so… Yeah.’
( via clownssyndrome )