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Quadruple Tree
I went to the store, bought eight apples. The clerk said, “Do you want me to put them in a bag?” I said, “No, man, I juggle. But I can only juggle eight. If I’m ever here buying nine apples, fuckin’ bag ‘em up!
Mitch Hedberg ( via musicjunkie90 )

Aired in 1995

( via Reddit )

Mitch Hedberg at Just For Laughs 2004.

( via comedynerdsunited )

I can’t tell you what hotel I’m staying at…. but there are two trees involved.

( via swag-od )