Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that’s funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen’s too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain’t funny. - Mitch Hedberg
( via humblydead )
I went to the store, bought eight apples. The clerk said, “Do you want me to put them in a bag?” I said, “No, man, I juggle. But I can only juggle eight. If I’m ever here buying nine apples, fuckin’ bag ‘em up! Mitch Hedberg ( via musicjunkie90 )
I saw a fish all by it’s self. I told him, “Dude, you need to stay in school. Mitch Hedberg ( via like-a-drug-infected-heart )
