I’d like to see a forklift life a crate of forks… it’d be so damn literal you are using that machine to its exact purpose!” - Mitch Hedberg

By unrelentingcreativity

I find a duck’s opinion on me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

( via omnipotentlord )

“an escalator is just movin steps lol”

This works for me ;)

(via towritelesbiansonherarms)

Mitch Hedberg’s escalator temporarily stairs joke has been taken to a whole different level here.