Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day.
( via mrbradg )
"If my kid couldn’t draw very well, I would make sure none of my magnets worked." - Mitch Hedberg
( via curioustiff )
Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that’s funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen’s too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain’t funny. - Mitch Hedberg
( via humblydead )
( via specklespack )